Sometimes things feel right
And sometimes things just stick. Whether you want them to or not.
I know that’s vague at best. My apologies.
In other news… I heart tumblr and I have the best followers/friends. Hopefully I will be meeting one or two in the near future! I’m so excited!! Squee!!!
Anyone else from Denver that I should know about???
Happy Birthday to MEEEEEEE!!!!!!
So much to share!
So, first things first- tumblr tells me that my lovely blog, Cupcakes And Cum, has existed for THREE WHOLE YEARS! Fuck, man. That’s crazy.
Second, I might be considering fucking my way through Denver. Then again, I might fall into infatuation with a sexy Latin man. I might have left my heart with the Sausage King. I am a fucking mess. But I’m happy… I guess that’s all that matters?
You can call it a comeback
I’ve got lots to say. I might as well say it here. If you’ve been following me at amusingmolly, you can probably tell how fucked up I am. But that’s life. My lovely voyeuristic followers should get to see a broken girl claw her way back to life.
Like I said, more. Much more. But first, I’m off on a date.
Oh, anyone in Denver?? Looks like I will be spending some time there…
Now, thank you for all the concerned messages. You guys really, truly are the best ever. Almost as good as therapy. Mwah, pumpkins!!
Updates and Upcoming features
So life is going along. Sometimes smoothly, sometimes less so. Mr. Cupcake just celebrated his six month anniversary with the mini-tart. I am still in a monogamous-except-for-my-husband relationship with the Sausage King.
In truth, both of these relationships have gotten extremely complicated. The Sausage King is my best friend. He and I have a bond. It’s special. This friendship-first fuckup has led to all kinds of weirdness. I’m friends with his wife. I met his dad. We’re all friends on facebook. Mr. Cupcake adores the Sausage King. They could be real life bffs.
We recently decided that the four of us would take a cross country road trip over Labor Day. We are going from Philadelphia to Denver (via a site-seeing tour that has us going to Mt. Rushmore, among other places). We are seeing the Phish shows at Dick’s.
I could not be more excited or more scared of anything ever.
So what does all this mean for me? for these relationships? for the future? I have no idea. It’s a take it as it comes, thing. I never expected to find this. I never thought I could love anyone other than my husband. Turns out I was wrong.
I’m trying to sort it out. I’m trying to make interesting choices. Is it wrong that I hope they turn out happy?
I’ve always been a good girl. I still am. Mostly.
But today I plan on being a little bad. I’m going on an adventure with the Sausage King. I’m going to stretch my limits and do things I never thought I would. It’s going to be amazing. I am moments away and I can’t wait.
Personal growth, and all that. ;)
Wish me luck, pumpkins. Mwah!!
I’ve got a story to tell
Sometimes I think I should write the novel about me and the Sausage King on my blog. Let it play out in truth and see where the world comes down on it. I’d like to know how I would be judged- hero or villain.
I’ve been keeping notes. Snippets of conversations. Tiny memories to glue together with the arc of our relationship.
There are two things that prevent me from really doing this. The first, obvs, is that I just don’t know how it’s going to end. Well, I have a pretty good idea, I just don’t know how much plot is left before it gets there. The second is that I was afraid of putting it out there and sayings things that Mr Cupcake would read. Or our friends.
That second fear is pretty much gone. Mr Cupcake knows me. He knows my heart and he can see how I feel. So the real problem is just waiting to see how the story ends.
The problem with being smart and in love is that your head knows what’s really happening but your heart is too persistent to give up.
And compromise is only something that works if both parties have something to give. So that leaves secrets and lies- also bad options.
What happens when two people are in love but their broken parts just break the other more? Is there a way to still make it work? Or should secondary love be easy?
Maybe crazy. I’m taking fertility drugs. Quite a high dose. Its like a super dose of estrogen. I’m emotional. I’m insane. The side effects are killer.
Because of this I am single handedly ruining my relationship with the Sausage King. I am anxious and needy and emotional. Mr Cupcake is doing all he can- he even drove an extra three hours to be with me yesterday and help me through it. But the SK is going a different route- basically keeping communications to a minimum. Which is making me crazier because I’m reading things into this one line texts that probably aren’t there. I can’t help it.
Two more nights of these pills. I really wonder if the SK will make it through. He doesn’t have a responsibility to me, other than saying he loves me. But who can love someone that is suffocating them, the way I am to him right now?
The Wonders of the Sausage King
Yesterday was fantastic. It couldnt have gone better.
Today is even better. Just me and the King.
There are not many men I would venture into New Jersey for.
Especially after swallowing a load of cum.
And… he lets me kick his ass at bowling, too.